The search for passion

You know when that one ‘spam’ email lands in your inbox, that hasn’t been caught by the filter?  The one that comes from a person’s full name which you don’t recognise and fear it’s either a stalker, or more likely, a virus?  Well that happened to me over the weekend, but the subject line connected with me so much that I couldn’t resist the click.  It read, “3 Unexpected Ways to Find Your Life’s Purpose.”

Super Powers from a young age!
Super Powers from a young age!

With so many ideas running around in my head constantly, from wanting to give up the day job, to wanting to go back to University, going full-time freelance, maybe retrain as a teacher, or an astronaut, there are times, many times, when I just wish someone would tell me what I’m suppose to be doing, apart from the cliché of being a mother, of course my first love, what is my actual purpose on this revolving ball in the sky?


I find it difficult on times being so driven.  It’s always been something I’ve thrived on since a young age, always want to do and be my very best in everything I try, pushing the boundaries of time by fitting a ridiculous amount of stuff into each day between work, kids, house, and setting myself goals, some maybe slightly too adventurous, but it’s the way I’m wired and I can’t help to want more.  Having the entrepreneurial streak can be a hindrance too.  The dream of one day running my own marketing and design company is always present, and hopefully getting closer with plans slowly coming together, but until then, the 9-5 remains, as does the mind full of thoughts.

Work dreams
Work dreams

The link took me to an entry on the Huffington Post and I could definitely relate to a lot of what the author, Shannon Kaiser was speaking of.   Feeling lost, feeling like something is missing, the inner turmoil whilst trying to find your ‘thing’, and of late, the lack of passion for anything I do.  It’s almost a downward spiral, starting with the unmotivated ‘work’ me, to the ‘can’t be bothered to exercise’ me, to the ‘I just want to sit and eat chocolate’ me,  none of which are healthy at all, especially not the latter!

The good stuff
The good stuff

After reading similar linked posts and taking on board all of what these people were saying about how to improve one’s motivation, mood and ultimately reignite passion in everything you do as a way to find your purpose, it got me thinking.   What if you were to cut it all back to basics?  What if you concentrated only on those things you had to, and those that bring you enjoyment, and cut those that don’t right out of your life.   So don’t do freelance for the company whose boss is a pain in the ass giving you 5 minutes notice for the required design work then chasing you for an update after 2 – granted it’s extra money, but it’s not everything if it makes you unhappy.   And don’t put pressure upon yourself to help others with their growing business free of charge just because you’re friends with their sister – they say thank you but is that enough of a reward to miss time with the family?

Garden Cuppa to start the day
Garden Cuppa to start the day

But do make time to grab an early morning cuppa in the garden to plan your working day while the house is asleep, or get cosy in the bedroom to write a blog entry and to network whilst the kids and Daddy are playing noisily downstairs, take time to do those designs you want to sell on Etsy for a little extra pocket-money.   Me time has long gone and very rarely comes into the equation these days, a lot like date nights with the Hubby, long hot bubble baths, and shaving my legs more than one a week, but I can live with that providing I have passion for everything else that fills my days.

This Welsh Mother - Instagram

Thanks to my Sister, I also came across another blogger recently, the fabulous Ceri Gillett and This Welsh Mother.  Having stalked all her social channels and website since, I’m already a massive fan, and it’s so great to read about people who live their lives just as crazy as I do mine, who put their hair in a bun to save brushing it (ok, maybe that’s just me!), who work from home so stay in their PJ’s all day if Daddy’s doing the school run, and who totally understand the want and the need to keep climbing, to keep achieving more, for personal reasons and just to see if there is a more fulfilling place out there.  I’m meeting Ceri this week for a coffee and a chat, I’m sure there’ll be a story to tell, watch this space!

Friend therapy!
Friend therapy!

I do have one evening planned this week with a friend I’ve not seen for a very long time, the type of friend you can talk to about anything and everything, that mixes in different circles nowadays and won’t judge or repeat the chatter.  Someone I can voice off too and will give me advise from an outside perspective, all of which we’ll be doing over a glass, definitely one of my passions!


End of the world?

Reminiscing back to 2012, finding my own little piece of the internet with a brand new Facebook page, it was great to re-connect with school friends and old colleagues alike, ones I’d not seen or spoke to for quite some time.  Getting friend requests off people I could just about remember, posting up the best profile pic I could find hoping people would say I’d not aged, and getting likes and comments on my posts was something that became instantly satisfying, a crave that became addictive, a daily need, a state of mind I thought nothing more about.

Continue reading “End of the world?”

In a heartbeat

Sitting here writing this on the plane, homeward bound, in the dark, not having the luxury of being able to sleep at 38,000 feet, I’m reflecting on my week in LA, which was pretty amazing.  Lots to see and certainly lots to do, and with the sun hitting 103F at its highest, it was more than a little different to the normal working week at home in wet Wales.

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Am I worthy?

So I’m sitting here, writing this, on a Virgin Atlantic flight, heading to LA, but contemplating where I’m actually going.  Currently at 38,000 feet exactly, and just over 3 hours until we land, I’ve spent most of the trip staring out of the window at the beautiful white cloudy skyline, thinking of the week ahead, of course the family, and my future plans.

Continue reading “Am I worthy?”

The building blocks of my soul

My phrase to the children of late has been “as soon as I finish this”.   Life is hectic, and I’m sure I’m not alone in the race to get everything done in a day, home chores and work, and still make time for kids, and for wine before falling asleep!   But daily routines have long since taken over my life and I am totally governed by what time of the day it is, which dictates what I should be doing.  Spontaneity passed a while back and replaced itself with involuntary to-do lists, which seem to be getting longer, and I fear we do tend to forget what’s important in life while we battle with the commotion of being full-time working parents.

Continue reading “The building blocks of my soul”

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